Shera Diane's Blog
April 7, 2018
New donation increase. First in 12 years
Since 2006 I've never once increased my requested donations. I'm sure you would understand how much it would suck to go 12 years without a single raise, especially with inflation and the rapidly growing cost of living. (My rent is over $500 more than it was when I started in 2006) For the past few months, the thought of increasing my donations had come to mind, however, it wasn't until today that I decided to do so. Things have changed in the adult industry drastically over the years, making it more difficult for providers to attract clientele, including increased costs to advertise. In addition, the quantity of websites to advertise on have dwindled. These added difficulties have been felt by clients as well, as they search the web trying to find a provider that's right for them and they find lots of web sites, ones they may have used before, are shut down or currently state "Down for maintenance" since the implementation of the new SISTA/ FOSTA laws took place early this month.
Politics have gotten involved with the industry once again and passed new restrictive laws in the name of protecting individuals from sex-trafficking. I doubt many people are forced to give body rubs. These victims they are mostly trying to protect are on the other end of the spectrum of the adult industry, but nonetheless, this still affects those in the adult healing arts too. Perhaps to a bit lesser extent, but we'll have to see. As such, many websites where clients could match up with providers are shutting down, which includes web sites where both escorts and body rub and other adult providers are featured together. Even the industry leader TER (The Erotic Review) has locked it's doors to U.S. visitors to avoid felony prosecution. The law would hold the web sites liable for the content of advertisers and prosecute them for solicitation. TER has a statement themselves regarding the law on the page you would now find when visiting the web site. The U.S. politicians are constantly devising ways of cracking down on online publishers that allows adult providers to promote themselves and have been for the past several years with the claim of protecting victims, though their efforts have not had the intended effect.
Though I consider myself as being a provider in the healing arts foremost, 'body rubs' are considered part of the adult industry, so this new law affects me and other body rub providers, as well. In an attempt to adjust to the new laws and the subsequent difficulties it imposes on adult providers to continue to provide needed quality sessions, many providers are increasing their donations in order to adjust and make ends meet. Many providers have increased their donations over the years, and with the new changes, many are doing so now. See this link for the general opinion of other adult providers. Once again, this is the very first time I have increased the donations for my sessions. There is an increase of $5-$20 on most of the sessions. No change to a little of them. There is no increase at this time for any of the spa treatments. Please understand what the increases mean for you and I: It will hopefully allow me to continue to provide a well appointed place with enough space to accommodate your incall session in a nice neighborhood with great parking, rather than substandard accommodations. With the aforementioned new changes in the laws and the rippling effects of it, as with most providers, my clientele is also decreasing, so the extra few dollars will help to offset this change at least a little, along with help to offset the ever increasing inflation.
We providers will hopefully survive with your help and your needed understanding. Most of us are fearful, but hope to adapt to the changes and find new ways for us to come together for our mutual benefit. I've been told many times by clients how the sessions I provide are a very needed service for people. That I provide something very essential in a society where so many people are just takers. It helps clients to attain a balanced life. The sessions I provide are very therapeutic, whether it's a massage, a cuddle session, or spa session. Touch, kindness, and companionship are an essential part of being human and studies have shown again and again that those who are deprived of it are not as well adjusted and that a lack of those basic human needs actually hinders development. In addition, in places where people cannot contract for these things, some will forcibly take what they need, and that is where the true crime is! The agreement between client and provider is consensual and mutually beneficial, and make the world better and therefore the law should keep their noses out of such arrangements! Yes, there are gray areas in the legality, but a society where people cannot receive the pampering and affection they desire can be a more troubled one.
If you agree, please fight these new laws. They haven't been thought out well enough and don't consider what the negative impact will be. The bill that passed shows no evidence of how victims of sex-trafficking can actually benefit from it and many argue, which even includes survivors, that it will actually further put in harms way those the bill alleges to help. This article states: "Online advertising and the ability to use the internet to work more safely has now been taken out from under people..." And that this bill would have "...damaging consequences". They need a different approach so that those who need protection may be better served and those who are mutually contracting may do so without many of their safety tools being eliminated, along with online publishers retaining their First Amendment rights.
I understand the problem with sex-trafficking. I get it. It's a horrible thing and my heart aches for those trapped souls, but in a poor effort to save them, all providers are lumped in with the actual victims as if they have no choice. Most of us do! And we do it because it is the best choice for us at the given moment. And we are therefore able to provide for ourselves without government or other handouts or resorting to victimizing others who are trying to make ends meet. For some, being an adult provider is the only option that fits our lifestyle at the moment. Whether some choose it as a temporary choice or meticulously craft their skills for a longer term choice because it fits their interests in being a healer, a romantic, a domme, a model, a courtesan, a conversationalist, a companion, a mystic, a dakini, a dancer, a muse, a sugar baby, an exhibitionist, etc.. Providers shouldn't have to feel shame, be treated as or looked upon as a criminal, live in the shadows, and have doors slammed on them, opportunities withheld, or treated like subclass citizens when they're providing a much needed service. Providers are often very caring and giving people who share a very intimate part of themselves that others generally withhold to most. They should be recognized for the kindness and affection they give; for the beautiful souls they are!.
As for me, I have chosen this path because I am a giver and a romantic with a long time interest and knowledge in the healing arts and it fits my lifestyle. I have had bad back pain for a long time, so I cannot physically work 30-35 hours per week on my feet anymore and can no longer physically work 50+ hours per week sitting either, which is the minimum amount of hours I would need to work (with my given skill set) to provide for myself as a single female living alone. Being an adult provider allows me to have time to get the rest I need, so I don't have to burden myself with unbearable pain for hours upon hours while working, leaving little time for breaks and rest or anything else. Students are able to focus more on their studies since they don't have to work 40+ hours per week, which usually equates to graduating to their chosen careers sooner. Others are able to make ends meet with a few additional hours for extra income. Some make a career of it, taking classes and learnig all they can, and really enjoy giving their time to enrich the lives of others. Everyone has their reasons and should be understood, rather than assumptions made about them. Providers don't need to be frowned upon or condemned. They may not feel proud of what they do, but they don't feel shame. They are crazy strong women and men adapting to a difficult world with bravery and innovation to get ahead in life, to have more, sometimes to provide for their families whom may be children or even ill. They may be fighting an illness themselves. They are self-sufficient warriors who often found themselves at a crossroads, who made a choice and picked themselves up so they wouldn't burden others. I know, because I too was at a crossroads, physically unable to perform the work I once was so very good at and truly enjoyed. I was forced to give it up as each day I would go home after a shift too weak and in too much pain to do anything until the next day when I had to do it all again. That was so hard. I had to find another way!
Now, you know my reasons, and as a result, I hope you now know and understand me better and why I need to increase my donations. I wrote this because I want to be open about what I do and why and share who I am with you without limits. You've likely had a raise in the last 12 years, so you can now understand why it's now time for me to give me a raise and how it's not possible to offer the same donations any longer. I appreciate your understanding of what it takes to provide you with the pampering sessions you need and crave. I appreciate your willingness to adapt with the changes your chosen provider(s) face in order to be there for you when you need her/them. Your support is really important so that I may continue to be available to you. Seeing me a little more frequently will help during this difficult transition (and you can actually receive a discount if you return within 30 days), as well as your generous tips or gifts. You can actually send some gifts at any time such as Amazon codes or virtual credit cards, which you can send to me online if it's easier than in person. These are especially helpful and I can use them to purchase session supplies or pay a bill, etc. Thanks for reading! We both can benefit from these small changes I made in order to adapt to the powers that try to stand in our way of our mutually beneficial arrangement and the ever increasing inflation.Thank you for your kindness and generosity and for choosing me as your provider when you need to relax and reset!
With love and affection, Shera
PS- In case you want to know, the number of websites that I once posted on that are shut down or are not allowing posting or signing in is 8, which leaves very few sites remaining that I can advertise on. I feel that number will grow as time passes. Craiglslist once had an adult services section many years ago and it was shut down (in 2011, I believe). Now their 'Personals' section is closed due to SISTA. Though I also haven't posted on Backpage since the 'Body Rubs' section was removed, their entire site is completely shutdown.
April 3, 2018
Hey, I'm starting a blog tonight!
Tonight, I decided to start a blog. When people are hurt, angry, shit on, or any other type of bad scenario happens to them, everyone has a coping method or way of venting or reacting. Some are healthy, such as meditating or exercise, others not so healthy, such as breaking things or hard drinking. For me, I usually reflect on it briefly, see if there's anything I can learn from the experience, then move on, as dwelling on it doesn't serve me. Sometimes, If I have time (though I usually only make time), my outlet will be... creativity. What a nice alternative to doing something destructive, don't you think? Well, tonight my "creative outlet" will be starting this blog.
"So, what crappy thing happened to you, Shera?" you are likely now wondering. Well, tonight I had an appointment set with a first-time client who began communicating with me around week ago. We set up the appointment and everything seemed fine. When he was on his way, he called and I said I would text him my address, then to be helpful, I added "I am downstairs". By looking at the condo numbers, it's pretty easy to tell that my unit is downstairs, but not everyone pays attention, and on occasion someone will stand lost right in front of my unit, staring at my address, then call to ask where it is. Anyway, he called and asked if I was upstairs on downstairs. I said "I'm downstairs, like I said earlier". The call was a little choppy. He began to say something, but then just hung up on me after about 2-3 words that I am not clear on. It sounded like an intentional hang up, as the tone in those brief couple words sounded frustrated. I was puzzled. Was there a miscommunication?, I wondered.
I then received a text from him. "Sorry, we obviously are extremely not compatible." My reply: "What? I think you misunderstood something I said. I know your voice was choppy on my end." He responded with, "It's fine. No hard feelings and I won't leave a review." A bad review? I assume he is talking about. Why would he even consider that? What is it he believes I did wrong to warrant even mentioning a bad review? "I'm confused. Are you driving away over a miscommunication/misunderstanding? We got along fine earlier, didn't we? You should take that into consideration when trying to make a judgment about me, at least", I replied.
I was about to text something else but didn't want any more miscommunication, so I decided to call. He didn't pick up. This was someone who agreed with me on the phone earlier that day that that talking on the phone is much better; that texts can be misunderstood. I left a voicemail message and explained (calmly) that no one has ever said anything like that about me or left a bad review. Then I went on to describe what I do to stage my place for a nice session and all I went through and ended it with "I guess I'll blow out the candles and get out of the slinky thing I chose to wear for you".
He didn't have enough time to have listened to my message yet when he sent this crappy one word response. "Ok. "Ok in regards to what?" I replied. "It doesn't matter. Sorry it didn't work out. Wish you the best. Take care". He said. Well, yes, it does matter! He cancelled at our appointment time so my time was wasted! So, I sent this reply: "Well, at least listen to the voicemail I took the time to say. I take the time and care to meticulously set up a very soothing ambience as well as make myself alluring. The time I spend on a client isn't just the time I spend WITH a client, so when someone cancels at the last moment, it wastes my time and is extremely inconsiderate of my time and all I did for him. For YOU!"
At this point he calls me and says lets just hash this out on the phone and get it done. I listened quietly without a word, He actually said that he's responsible and he's sorry. He said he realized when we spoke the first time that we weren't compatible, so he shouldn't have booked a session. Wow! Surprising that he's holding himself accountable. Not a common thing these days. BUT...and here comes the but. He quickly tried to shift the blame by hurling an insult and assumptions toward me, saying something like. "I'm sure you encounter a lot of jerks.... and they cancel and treat you like shit,,,, and then you take it out on the next guy...". WTF? (It was much longer than that and I'm paraphrasing.) It was totally irrelevant to anything, especially considering I kept my cool the whole time and never insulted him in anyway or did anything to provoke being disrespected at any time during any of our contact. When I spoke up to respond, I hadn't yet said much before he interrupted me. Figures!
Perhaps... probably, in his world, and it appears he himself works that way (taking out things on the next person). I do not operate like that! I never have. I never will! The only thing I pay forward is kindness. Whether or not I receive it, I still give kindness, respect, and the benefit of the doubt to the next person I meet.
I get that people can be very unkind to others, but that in no way justifies people behaving that way. It only propagates more of the same until being kind is an uncommon thing. Unfortunately, I do get disrespected sometimes; people being inconsiderate, even rude and insulting when I have only been kind and courteous. Luckily, it has been awhile, a few months even.. Until tonight. It seems it's inevitable and only a matter of time, then it happens again. As disappinting as it is, I must move on without it affecting me going forward..
I bear my soul on this website. I give people a candid look at who I am. This is not something you see commonly, but I am different. I'm a very open and caring person and it's in my nature to do my part in making this world a better place. Not to spread the social diseases. I share my home, my time, my affection, compassion, my tender care, and pampering and in those things, an escape to a sanctuary to those who seek it. I listen, I laugh, I teach, and I give a piece of my heart and soul to each of my guests to make their world better, even if for only a short while. I'm a free-spirit who radiates love and sweetness, despite the hate, the fear, the mistrust, the lies, the disrespect, the hurt, the anger, the games, and all the other ugliness that is oozing down the sidewalks and buildings and the hearts of others.
Anyway, now that I have poured these words onto this page, as my creative outlet of course, the realization comes into focus that what he said has absolutely nothing to do with me. It is merely a reflection of his OWN soul. (After all, he doesn't know me and I never did or said anything that would give him that impression.) He's another victim of his own fear, insecurities, doubts, and hurt he carries inside. So, on that note, I believe he did me a favor by canceling. I think he's right about one thing ...we ARE obviously completely incompatible! It appears he is so wrapped up in the ugliness of this world that he wouldn't be receptive to being healed with my kindness and enjoying the sanctuary I created.
I feel sorry for people like that who have been so disillusioned by the drama of the world that they cannot recognize a beautiful soul when they see one. Because when one is jaded, they make assumptions that everyone is equally damaged and everyone appears as the same fucked up person to them, not as they really are. That's clearly what he did with me. He just bundled me in with the majority of the other messed up people he's encountered, some of whom likely hurt him, which would explain why it affects him to the extent of disrespecting someone who was never unkind to him. People like that pay it forward the only way they know how. It reminds me of the quote, "You are either part of the solution or part of the problem".
I don't know if this is the case for him, but subconsciously, some people aren't open to being treated with kindness, either due to fear of change or feeling they don't really deserve it or other reasons. They just aren't used to it, and also don't have kindness and compassion within themselves. It's foreign territory in a world where so many people are only out for themselves. So, they sabotage the chances they have to experience the beauty that's in the world. Some are so jaded by the ugliness, they don't believe the beauty even exists and as such, they are completely blind to it.
But, that's not the world I choose to live in. I appreciate those who appreciate and recognize the way I am and my uniqueness. I am glad to have touched the lives of others, and have their appreciation for what I do, as well as my kindness reciprocated. I want to send a thank you to all of you who have enriched my life and allowed me to enrich theirs...even if for only a short time! I hope to share those moments with you again! And thanks to Sam, too. Yes, even to the person who insulted me and wasted my time tonight. If he hadn't disrepected me tonight, I wouldn't have started this creative outlet and started my blog (at least not tonight) that I now share with you. Nor would I have had a need to reflect for a moment, which has made me appreciate even more those who reciprocate kindness to me.
That's the good that I draw out of this bad situation, what lesson I learned, and what I pay forward to the world. For that, I am grateful. So, thank you, Sam! I hope you someday find the light!